Friday, January 18, 2008

the essence of complaint

Bear with me:

1. Some things aren't worth complaining about because they're either too small ("this is white bread and i wanted wheat bread!") or uncontrollable ("Fuck you, clouds!").

2. Some things ARE worth complaining about because you can physically benefit from the act of complaining ("Hey help me I'm on fire!") or because by complaining you're educating others and making some kind of important point ("The two-party system is dumb!")

3. Some things aren't worth complaining about because they're so bad that everyone else is already going to be complaining about it; adding your voice to the cacophony will only be redundant ("The Simpsons isn't as good as it used to be!" "MTV doesn't play videos anymore!")

But SOME things are so bad, that even though #3 applies, you still really have to say something, if only to VENT, to keep from exploding/imploding in fury and disbelief. A few examples:

~"Meet the Spartans" is going to be unspeakably stupid. Anyone who pays money to see it, or even sneaks in for free, is dead to me. DEAD TO ME. I talked more about it in a previous post, but they're starting to play previews now. Please don't go, even if you're a silly teenager. Even if you're an idiot. There are no excuses. This is the worst film ever made. Usually i don't like criticizing things i haven't actually seen, but i have no qualms here.

~Local news is AWFUL. I don't particularly care that someone got stabbed in Kansas, or that there was a car accident and someone broke a clavicle, or that there's a dog who only has three legs somewhere.

~MySpace is a wasteland. I love it, i NEED it, but it's a wasteland in every sense of the word.

Yeah, i feel better now. Go about your business.

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