superbowl dialogue:

SCENE: a small town wisconsin sportsbar, regulars at the bar, all watching the big game.

(player scores a touchdown, celebrates)

old man 1: "YEAH THERE YA GO DO YOUR LITTLE DANCE."

old man 2: "IN MY DAY WE'D JUST HAND THE BALL TO THE REF AND JOG TO THE SIDELINES."

old man 3: (stands and does the Young Joc motorcycle dance) "WHAT IS THAT? JUST DO YOUR DAMN JOB AND STOP SHOWBOATING."

me: "The guy just scored a touchdown in the fucking superbowl. Isn't he entitled to have a little fun? Why is it so TERRIBLE that athletes show a little personality? Would you rather every athlete be the boring, zombified "we're just gonna do our best" interview subject?

old man 1: (ignoring me) "YA KNOW WHO I LIKE, I LIKE (insert scrappy white player). HE'S A HARD WORKER. NOT THE MOST ATHLETIC, BUT HE DOES HIS DAMN JOB."

old man 2: "OH I KNOW, (insert scrappy white player) ISN'T ONE OF THESE BLING-BLINGIN' HIP-HOPPIN' FANCY-SUIT-WEARIN' SHOWBOATIN' TYPES-- HE JUST COMES TO PLAY GAME AFTER GAME AND WORKS HARD."

old man 3: "I THINK WE SHOULD SEND ALL THE IMMIGRANTS BACK WHERE THEY CAME FROM."

(everyone pauses, looks at old man 3)

old man 1: "IT'S TOO BAD EVERY PLAYER CAN'T BE LIKE (insert scrappy white player). THIS GAME'D BE IN MUCH BETTER SHAPE WITHOUT ALL THAT JUKIN' AND DANCIN' AND WHATNOT. I MEAN COME ON, THESE BOYS ARE MULTI-MILLIONAIRES."

me: "I just don't see why this is such a huge issue. They're excited because they're playing hard and they want to have fun. They should be entitled to the freedom of self-expression. Who the hell are we to sit back here and dictate what these grown men can and cannot do? If you don't want your grandson being a bad sport, that's fine-- tell him that; but don't act like pro athletes showing personality is the biggest problem in sports."

old man 1: (ignoring me) "OH AND THAT TERRELL OWENS IS THE WORST..."

(Later. The game has ended and a player is being interviewed.)

reporter: "So how are you feeling right about now?"

player: "You know, we just played our best, and the other team played their best, and we got a lot of respect for that other team, and we all played our best. It was a good game, and we just tried to come out and play our best. This is football, and we're playing football and we're playing our best. We take our hats off to the other team-- they played football. And we played football. It was a football game."

old man 2: "ISN'T THAT THE TRUTH?"

old man 3: "THAT'S WHAT I CALL CLASS."

me: "HE DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING!"

(the reporter turns to another player)

reporter: "What was it like to finally make it to the superbowl?"

player 2: "It feels really good man. I've worked my whole life to make something of myself, and to sit here on top of the world just feels great. I wanna say hi to my family back home! Hey mom!"

old man 1: "YOU SHOWBOATIN' SON OF A BITCH!"

old man 2: "YEAH THERE YA GO-- IT'S ALL ABOUT YOU ISN'T IT?"

old man 3: "WHY DON'T YA DO YOUR LITTLE DANCE?"

me: "I'm never watching football in a public place ever again." (leans and rocks wit' it out the door)